Time for Inspiration

April General Conference is so refreshing. With the spring, and then sun, and Easter. Everything is new. I am feeling like I am more than ready for it this year. I need some divine guidance, some inspiration; The kind that comes when you're able drink in two solid days of prophetic counsel.

The beginning of 2010 has been kind of a roller coaster for me. Stability and consistency are not two words I would use to describe how i've felt for the past three months.

The beginning of January brought a surprising shift in my vocational segment of life. Unfortunately the man I was working for didn't come through as was promised, and suddenly I was only left with my part time training.

Panic initially set in. Stress is what I do best in these types of situations.

Lots of prayer happened. I didn't know if this was a good time for me to make a clean break from Provo, and embark on some new territory. I'd always considered grad school as a great option, but I knew that deadlines would be fast approaching, and I didn't even know if there was a program I'd want to apply for.

More prayer.

My first Sunday back to the 203rd ward, post Christmas break, answered question #1. I was called as the Relief Society Pres. I'll take that as a...I'm supposed to be here answer.

I felt really good about that part.

Now what?

I decided to take matters to the temple. I went every day for a week. More prayer. Lot's more prayer.

In looking through grad school options I found a program that had somehow slipped my searching. A masters in Exercise Science, emphasizing on health promotion. Music to my ears. Deadline for entry: Feb 1st, 2010. Is that some sort of a joke? No. It wasn't.

The day after I found it I went to the professor over the program and talked to him about my chances of getting in, my options, was I crazy. He didn't think so. "Take the GRE," he said. "Go for it."

More prayer. It felt good. It almost seemed to fit too well. With my only working part time I'd be able to spend LOTS of time studying for the GRE. I planned to take the GRE the last week in January, and submit my application on Feb 1st.

Scary. YEP. Lot's of work. Yes indeed. HERE GOES.

Spoke with Cody at Elevate about the possibility of going back to training full time. Absolutely she said. She let me know I'd be her first priority as far as new clients went, until I was full. Cody is awesome. I really do owe her.

SO...I studied my guts out.

Tried to squeeze in some hanging out with Linds time before she moves to Austin.

Scrambled to get my application all ready. Letters of recommendation? Done.

Took the GRE. Hated it a lot, but managed to pull off a decent score. Applied.

Waited.

As soon as I was done applying my client schedule picked up. It was like clockwork it seemed. I knew then and still know now that my Father in Heaven was looking out for me.

Waited.

LOVING. Being back at the gym full time. It seems like I almost had forgotten what it was like to be full force focusing on what I love, what i'm good at. I have had the opportunity to work with an even broader range of clients. I've been able to teach classes. I've been able to really sink my teeth into my area of expertise. That feels good.

Still waiting.

Finally, received and email that told me that..."We regret to inform you that the Exercise Sciences MS program has not recommended you for admission for Fall 2010...." Wait...what? Reread. Yep, it really does say that. "Has not?"Heart sinks a little.

Ummmm...now what? All that perfect timing? All that clockwork? I'd just assumed with how perfectly everything had worked out that it would happen. Apparently the number of applicants increased by 40% this year. Hmmmm....

And here I am.

What now?

I'm not doubting my experiences and promptings thus far this year. I truly believe that the Lord is guiding me to be in whatever direction He wants me to be in. It's just kinda hard to sink my teeth into it. I worked really hard for it. I missed out on lots of hours I could have been playing with Linds.

I can't think of it that way...I know. I have been guided. Guided to where I am now.

I love work.

I love my calling, and my ward, and the people I get to interact with. I feel like the sisters in my Relief Society are some of the most amazing girls I've ever met. I can honestly say that I have such a huge amount of love for each girl. I feel like they are all my close friends.

But I don't like this, "what now?" feeling.

I had a conversation with Rox tonight about where we're headed in life. What lies in store. What our goals are, and where we want to be. She seems to have some sort of plan. I don't. Mine plan got dashed...I've learned over the years that, that seems to happen more often than not. (I get it, I get it...I am not the one steering here.)

Don't get me wrong I LOVE my job. Like I really really LOVE it. I know not many people can say that. Why else would I get up at crack of dawn? It's funny because it almost seems like a lot of people around me don't think that my current job is good enough. My wanting to go back to school, came because I want to keep progressing, not because I don't like what I do. I know education is important, and empowering.

I want to keep improving myself. But, If I do it I want it to be something I feel good about. Something I love. Something that for some reason i just can't seem to put my finger on. I feel like I've searched a lot.

I'm trying to take that step in to the dark knowing the Lord will eventually light the way. But what about when I don't even know where to begin stepping?

Like I said...I need conference.

More Praying.

xoxoxo Megs

Banana Pancakes, Insomnia, and LOTS of Chalk

Goodbye Saturday. I love Saturdays...have I mentioned that before? I get so excited for them to come, and with such good intentions of accomplishing a million things, but they seem to go by FAR too quickly. Sigh...oh well.

This post actually rewinds to last night. At around 1:30 AM Jan proclaimed his hankering for some IHOP which was echoed by Brian and Alex, and the persuasion of trying to get us there began. I lovingly declined, but with the promise of homemade whole wheat banana pancakes...better anyways, right? I look out for the health of my friends. What can I say? ;) So, by about 2 AM we whipped up some of these guys...

Whole Wheat Banana Pancakes

1 cup whole wheat flour

1 TBS brown sugar

2 tsp baking powder

1/4 tsp salt

1 cup skim milk

2 egg whites

2 TBS applesauce

2 bananas (overripe/mashed)

1 tsp cinnamon

*optional: Chocolate chips

Combine wet ingredients, and then add dry ingredients

Now, I don't usually stay up very late. Not at all actually. So, you'd think that when I finally made it to bed I would have crashed. False. I decided instead to lay awake ALL NIGHT LONG. I literally checked my clock about 12 times during the night, and then decided just to lay there some more listening to Benita sleep so soundly. She slept over. :) At 5 AM i contemplated going to the gym, but decided against it since I knew I wanted to go to Janae's spin class. So, yep, I just kept on lying there wide awake. LAME. I feel for you insomniacs out there. No freaking Bueno.

After an amazing morning of spin, and some lifting I came home with the intentions to do the following; clean the kitchen, eat lunch, shower, take a nap (because after the gym I was exhausted), and go to the temple.

I made it to "take a nap," when Brady persuaded me to go with him to the Hari Karishna, Festival of Colors. This is a festival that happens every year. For a sample of what the explosion of colors looks like click HERE. It's one of those things that i see posted all over everyone's facebook walls after it happens, and I think to myself, "one day I want to do that." It's on the same list as the Provo River Christmas Cruise. If you haven't had the chance to brave that one, please do. It is a delight.

So, after Brady persuaded me that I was still going to "a temple." I gave in to peer pressure. A bunch of us suited up, and off we went.

It is a pretty spectacular sight. From the second we got there we had strangers throwing colored chalk at us and wiping their colored hands all over us. We were instantly greeted by some friends who thought we were far too clean. Green chalk in the mouth. Delish. I realized pretty quickly that I'm not really one that loves to get dirty. Despite that, I had a lot of fun.

One thing that I thought was so funny was the fact that we kept running in to people we knew, but because everyone is just smeared in color it's hard to even recognize people you know really well.

After the countdown to the actual chalk throwing it is like a dust bomb cloud of color. I can't even explain it, so crazy. I couldn't even see the people standing next to me for few seconds.

I can finally say that I've experienced the festival of colors. I can also say that I blew my nose when I got home and it was purple. TMI? I've never been so excited to shower in my life...we finished the evening off with some Pizza Pie Cafe. Not bad if you ask me. Not bad at all. I never did get my nap though. I'm more than ready for bed!

Sheeeeesh

Dear Megan.

Go to bed.

You're going to hate yourself in the morning.

You will still love that bowl of Kashi...as per usual.

But you'll hate yourself & will be DYING for a nap all morning long.

Facebook is NOT that cool.

Nobody's blog is worth your sleep.

The new music you keep digging for will be there tomorrow.

Buenos noches.

Love, self

p.s. I keep not drying my hair (meaning it's air dried) and letting this curl come through. Easy? yes. Lazy? probably. Bad idea? I don't really care. :)

N.I.C.H.O.L.E.

Remember doing these in elementary school?

(I can't remember what they are called.)

N - Nicest person I know. Genuinely. Nice to absolutely everyone.

I - In great all around shape. Physically, spiritually, mentally. She just has it together.

C - Christlike. She has always been so giving and selfless to me and to everyone around her.

H - Happy. Always smiling and laughing. Her happiness and optimism is contagious.

O - Outgoing. Never afraid to talk to anyone. Famous or not. ;)

L - Love. She shows so much love to her family & friends & we all love her SO much!

E - Energetic. She always has so much going on, but she always rises to the occasion. She amazes me with all she gets done!

Let's be honest. That doesn't even BEGIN to describe how amazing Nich is. She has been such a great role model for me. I love spending time with her, and I am so grateful that to have her as my amazing big sis.

I thought she'd really appreciate this hot photo from our Christmas Ugly Sweater party. Let's be honest. She still looks rocking, ducks and all.

I wish we were all in Cali still right now. Newport Cost Villa's anyone? Yes please.

I look a little creepster.com in this pic, but...deal with it.

I love this pic of us kiddies at Thanksgiving this past year. Let's play soon family. k?

Anywho...Happy B-day Nichole. You are one incredible person. I look up to you so much. You have always been such a great example to me. Thanks for all you do for me. I hope to be like you someday when I grow up. xoxoxo

Benita ate chickpeas. The weekend recap.

This weekend was fun. Very fun indeed. This picture was actually from Whit's B-day last weekend, but I just thought it was cute.

Thursday was the ward talent show. Let's be honest you hear those words put together and you shudder a little bit. Krissy and I commented walking in that it was going to be awkward. It just was, regardless of if the talents were great or not so great, it was going to be awkward. We knew it was bad news bears from the beginning. Some of the highlight were newsies reenactments, awkward commentating, and throw up to say the least. People come out of the woodwork on these things. If you'd like a detailed version, I'd be obliged. I promise you'll laugh.

Benits came and slept over on Friday night (like she sometimes does) and it was just like old times. Room-er-ooskies.

We did our usual Friday dinner and hang out with friends. I proceeded to give Benita the full Talent show synopsis over some Zupas because she wasn't able to attend. She quite enjoyed it. We laughed pretty hard.

Saturday we woke up and went to the gym. Came home and made a delicious lunch. Shredded chicken, diced tomatoes, avocado, chickpeas, topped off with some mango salsa. Now let me just back up to the chickpeas.

Benita is learning to like food. True story. I'm so proud of her. When I first met her she was straight up Easy Mac and Peanut M&M's. Now she eats veggies...all kinds. It's crazy. So we start making our salads and the conversation goes something like this.

Me: Have you ever had Garbanzo beans?

Benita: What?

Me: Chickpeas? These? (Show her the can) They look like...(Little Brains. I actually didn't finish the sentence. I didn't think she'd try them, and I knew if I said that it wouldn't help the situation)

Benita: (With a very disapproving look on her face) aaahhhm. No.

Me: They're good. Promise. They don't really have much flavor. It's what hummus is made of.

Benita: oohhh. (Looking very skeptical)

Me: (Finish making my salad. Watching Benita finish hers as she purposely passes over the chickpeas.) Are you going to try the chickpeas?

Benita: Ummm. They look like little brains.

Me: Bah hahaha. I knew you were going to say that. Just try them.

Benita: Ummm...OK. (Nervously plates them up.)

Me: (Very impressed she was trying them.)

Good job Beni. You did it. I seriously love that girl. Do I say that enough. She cracks me up.

After lunch we went to the temple and then ran some errands.

We came home and made some YUMMY BYU mint brownies. (At least I hear they were yummy, we made them sans nuts. I think nuts ruin baked goods. Yep, I'm one of those.) We took them over to our friend Chris' where we watched the sad BYU game with a ton of our friends. It was super fun, despite the loss. Good times had by all.

Side notes:

- I've been talking to my mom and dad on Skype all the time as of late. I love it. They are adorable.

- Daylight savings rocked my world. I seriously hated it. Wow. I mean I love having longer, lighter days, but wow...both me and my clients struggled.

- I am ready for warm weather. Not this trick stuff. Real warm weather.

- I have been obsessively looking at cooking blogs. All I want to do is bake and cook. I in fact wish I could just do it all day. Is that weird? Probably...

Like only true T-wolves would...

I can hear you now. "That's soooo high school." Yep, it totally is, and I wouldn't have it any other way. One of my bestest friends from high school, (and since I was 12 basically...), Trevor is in town from NY this week, and I love when I get to hang out with him. His one request? That we take a trip to classic skating, naturally.
So, Trev and I ventured up to Sandy to meet two of our other T-wolves, Lisa and Kate. Let me just say. The night was more than successful.

Kate and Lis came adorned in matching MJ gear, which started the night of right. We were all looking pretty divine with our skinny jeans tucked into our skates. Trev was sporting a sweet sunburn from a day on the slopes, and we were pretty much all smiles. Who knew so much fun could be had for $2.00?

I think this photo sums the night up pretty well.

(This might just be the best photo i've ever taken.)

I love these people more than words can even describe. We seriously laughed so hard my stomach hurt. I think it is so unique that we have stayed in touch for so long. Even if we go weeks without talking it's like we never missed a day when we eventually do catch back up.

Counting down...

I'm ready for this.

Now.

I want to lay in the sun and listen to Bon Iver on my ipod while sipping on some Diet Dr. Pepper.

Would anyone like to join me?

Happy and Blessed

Beni, don't be mad. I chose the pic with the ponytail showing ok?

I love these two. With the classic self-taken photo of course. These girls make me laugh so hard every time we are together. Without fail. It's hilarious. I am so blessed to have such great friends.

I think life hands us ups and downs. Highs, lows, times of feeling so positive and blessed, and times where you wonder just about how much you can handle. When I have those low points I like to try and remember all of the great things in my life that make me happy...well maybe not all...but a lot of them.

In case I need to be reminded soon...

The gospel. My savior, Jesus Christ. My family. My friends. A job that I love. Amazing clients. The scriptures. A warm, extremely comfy bed. Clothes. A healthy body. My computer. New music. My Ipod. My cellphone. All my favorite foods...cereal, diet dp, pizza factory salad bar, frozen yogurt, peanut butter and honey sandwiches. Sunshine. My car. People that care about me. A great ward. A calling where I get to serve amazing women of the church. The Temple. Mid day runs for soft serve cones with Roxies. Good books. Popcorn and Matinee's with Benits. Target. Playing with Lisa. Cologne scented hugs from George. Pictures. Spinning with Janae. Inside jokes. Road Trips. My Fitness Blog. Running. Cooking. Bath and Body Works Wallflowers. Lake Powell. Hanging out at home with M&D. Playing games with my family. Being able to watch morning television while I work out every now and then. The local Crest station. Cruiser Bike rides to Yozone. Spring...summer...being tan...(sigh)...Disneyland. Having a clean house. Weekend shopping and Bajios with Linds. All of my nieces and nephews. Singing in the car. The music club, (Trev & Kate.) This could probably be a LOT longer...I'll spare you.

An Earl Update.

So you recall the situation with sweet lil' Earl I mentioned last time. I have a follow up that might just melt your heart even more. At ward prayer last night he talked to me for a bit and told me that he was having a better week, and that he decided that the girl who was mean to him was probably just having a bad week. He told me he wrote her a letter to tell her he didn't mean to make her feel uncomfortable and that he was very sorry he made her feel uncomfortable, and that he wouldn't bother her anymore, but he hoped she had a better week. Unbelievable, right? Talk about turning the other cheek. So, he asked if I would walk over with him to deliver the letter to the girl's friend so that she could give it to her. (He didn't want her to feel uncomfortable.) I was once again blown away. He had such a concerned and unselfish outlook. He was respecting her wishes, but wanted to make sure that he apologized and that she knew he was just trying to be nice. Pretty amazing.

12 days until the first day of spring. :)

Lesson Learned

Tonight I was caught off guard. I went to institute to with Whitney and President Barry was teaching, so we knew we were in for a great lesson, which we definitely got. The greater lesson, however, came for us on our way out the door.

There is a guy that comes to our ward activities named Earl. He has been coming to them for the past year, and we never really know what his situation is to be honest. Earl is different from you and I. He has some sort of learning/social disabilities. I am not exactly sure what. I do know that he is always happy as can be and loves to give everyone hugs. He also loves to "chat," as he calls it. He will pull you aside and keep your attention for quite some time. I will be honest, I probably have had some instances where we were on our way out of ward prayer and I wasn't dying to stop and chat it up with him, or when I wasn't as willingly friendly as I could have been.

So, tonight as Whit and I were leaving institute we said bye to some friends, and we were trying to rush out the door so Whit could get home to go meet her mom. We knew Earl was coming up behind us, and because we were trying to rush out of there we started for the door. We heard him calling after us, so we stopped and turned around. This is about how the conversation went.

Earl: "Can i ask you girls a question?"

W & M: "Of course."

Earl: "Why do I make people feel uncomfortable?"

W & M:....speechless....at a loss for words...umm....finally..."What do you mean Earl?"

Earl: Pulls a letter out of his pocket and hands it to us.

I don't remember the exact wording, but the letter was a full page long with phrases like this:

"Earl, Could you please not come and sit by me at institute? It makes me feel really uncomfortable. I don't like it when you hug me because I feel very uncomfortable. I don't want you do do that anymore. When you come near me my friends won't talk to me, so I don't want you to come and stand by me anymore. etc. etc. etc."

It was awful. A full page of typed awfulness.

I was absolutely speechless.

I looked up at poor Earl's near-tear filled eyes, as he explained to us that he didn't feel like he had any friends in the ward.

Whit and I reassured him this wasn't the case, and that he shouldn't let this one heartless person make him feel like he didn't have friends.

It was so heartbreaking.

I was appalled that anyone could be so terrible, especially a college-age individual. I was mad at myself for initially attempting to rushing out the door without being a friend to him first. I felt glad that he trusted Whit and I enough to come to us for some consoling.

I felt like I was a little kid in elementary school again, being reprimanded for being mean.

I definitely learned my lesson.

Although I still am so sad that Earl was so mistreated, I am very glad that I had this reminder...a reminder that we all need to be a little more Christlike. A reminder that we are all children of our Father in Heaven, and our purpose here on earth is to love each other. A reminder of how easy it can be to offend, and that we could probably all be a little more careful.

I think we all have days when we ourselves are, "Earl's" and we know how it feels to be in need of a friend. On that same note, we all have "Earl's" in our lives that we can be a little kinder to as well. I guess we can all just remember that a little kindness can go a long way.